The Wounded Healer

Apr 26, 2024

Picture by Kodini

Over the last few weeks, my daughter and my eldest son have started to ask more questions about my background.

They are curious to find out more about where I came from and the incidences of the past.

“Where is my biological Father?”

“What happened when I was a child?”

These have come up regularly in past weeks.

They know I’m putting the final touches to my second book - ‘Be Kind But Be Fierce’ which outlines many of the incidences that happened when I was a child.

These paved the way to me searching for a masculine balance within me and to heal the inner wounds I was left with, which in all honesty, completely consumed for a while.

Every time I move away from the book or delay it in some way, something happens, a nudge or a reminder to return to the script.

This week I was sent a picture of my step father, a cruel and vicious man, who abused my sister for many years.

He is now looked upon as a moral pillar of the community he now lives within.

This is often the case.

Those with the most to hide often do so by creating respectability and admiration from those around them.

He looks old but the eyes remain the same.

He always denied what he did.

A took a long hard look at the picture and still forgive this man for what he did. My amazing sister has too, such is her strength and compassion.

The picture, is another prompt, another push to release this book as I know it will help and serve many people.

could never have helped the children and adults that I have without being a wounded healer.

My life was a necessity, and for that I will always be grateful.

Forgiveness is not about letting someone off of the hook but to pass back the pain to the person that has wronged you.

It is to no longer to be controlled and live a life congruent with how they made you feel.

As BAFTA award winning writer GeoffThompson writes in his wonderful book ‘99 Reasons To Forgive’

“To hate anyone is to become a vessel of hate. You join them at their level.”

Terrible things do happen to people, but we have the opportunity to transform the darkest experiences into a force for good.

Author and speaker Paul Boese’s quote below, accurately describes how forgiveness can transform our life on every single level and how it is without exaggeration, life changing.

“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.”


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